I just want to be happy!
How many times do you think or say this line?
The thing is, most of us are constantly striving for this ‘happiness’. I’ll be happy when I change jobs, when I’m with a new partner, when I get out of this situation, when I finish this project, when we go on holiday….. Though we are not actually realising that we can create this happiness now. Whatever the external elements/conditions are. If you develop your happiness within the external elements become better or easier to manage and you will be surprised and grateful of what’s to come.
So how do we do this?
“The grass is greener where you water it”
Be grateful for what you have already. Ok you may not live in a mansion, drive round in a Maserati or have that ‘dream partner’. Though what do you have? Food in the fridge, a job to go to, good friends, a roof over your head…. A lot more than some wouldn’t you say?
Grab a pen and paper and start to write down what you are grateful for in your life right now. Just ream them out on the page. You may struggle at first. That’s ok! Just start with the small things; the suns shining, I have food in my stomach, I have clothes to wear. Then see where the list takes you. You will notice how your emotions and thought process starts to change the more you do this. I have a gratitude diary next to my bed and each evening I write down three things which have made me smile that day and in the morning I write three things I am grateful for. This keeps my mind in a positive state and reminds me of what is good in my life right now. It also reminds me to appreciate the people whom have contributed to those statements. I could discuss how this also raises your vibration and the concepts of ‘The Law of Attraction’ here. Though I will save this for another blog/vlog.
So back to the point. What makes you happy? Truly makes you happy? The things that get you lost in the moment and make you smile on the inside when doing them.
The gym, dancing, golf, art, holidays? If you don’t know, think back to what you used to enjoy when you were younger, or before you became a father, nurse, mother, teacher, advisor…. Why can’t you enjoy this now? Then I hear you say “I don’t have time”. My answer would be find time! Make you and your happiness a priority. You don’t have to do it every day but at least once a week you can plan in time for you to do something which makes you happy. See if someone can watch the children for that hour or so or give you a lift there and back. Most of the time people are happy to help.
However most of the things which make us happy, truly make us happy are FREE or don’t have to cost that much! Yes free. You can be sat in your mansion, with your Maserati on the drive, drinking champagne and eating lobster (which would be served to you by your maid/butler of course). Though if you are not happy on the inside none of this matters. As Jim Carrey once said “I wish everyone could get rich and famous and have everything they ever dreamed of so they would know that’s not the answer”.
To get some ‘real’ feedback and evidence on this point I have embarked on my own field research by the highly technical medium of Facebook. Yes, I have asked my friends, old colleagues, family ‘What makes you happy?’ Here are the results:
- Time
- Freedom
- Clean bedding
- Freshly cut grass
- Flowers
- Peace and quiet
- Helping others
- Sunshine on my face
- Family
- Fell walking and reaching the summit
- Warm baths
- Reading a good book
- Walking in the park
- Dining with a full table
- Artistically creating photographs (capturing moments)
- My son signing the words ‘I love you’
- Walking my dog
- Trail running
- Drawing
- Making soup
- A cup of tea
- Connection and feeling seen or heard
- Singing
- Music
- Company
I haven’t added or taken away any feedback. These are all placed in the organic order they came. You see! Do they involve much money? It’s the simplest things that give us pleasure. Mine are some of the above along with walks by the river/sea, mediation, friends, dancing. What are yours?
You will also notice that most of the above do not involve too much time either. Start to integrate what makes you happy into your days, weeks and see how your happiness increases.
No excuses! Make that call and arrange a catch up with a friend, pick up the book and pop your feet up with a good brew for half an hour (there is time if you make it). Search on the internet for local places/centres who run the hobby you love. Why? Because life’s too short to not be happy. Start to create yours. You deserve it too!
If you are struggling, I have an array of tools and techniques to help you create your happiness. So if you want to take control and make the changes needed to ‘be happy’ call now for a FREE fifteen minute chat or book in your one to one coaching session via my website.
Much love
Amanda ‘The positive realist’