Amanda Englishby Life Coach

What is it you want to change?

Your career

Your relationship

Your wellbeing

Your location

Your body

Study

Then pops up the following, I can’t because;

I have a mortgage to pay, it’s too late now, what will people think? I’m scared it won’t work out, What if, what if, what if ?????

What if what? Just go for it, do it!!!!! There will always be excuses and reasons not to. Though the reality is, If you want change to happen, ‘REALLY ‘want change to happen then you have to jump in the driving seat, take control of your life and start taking action.

It will be uncomfortable

Of course, it will be uncomfortable at the start. Let’s be honest, nobody likes change. Its something new, something different and we have often been used to things/life rolling in a certain way for a long time. We tend to accept that this is it, this is our lot and this is how it will always be. It’s the way we have been programmed subconsciously.

Without getting too deep into ‘subconscious programming’ it does have a part to play here and it helps to have a little understanding as to what keeps holding you back and why it feels so ‘uncomfortable’.

You see, our subconscious runs with and believes the programme it has been given i.e; I get up at ….. hour in the morning, this is my job/place of study, I work from this hour to that, I eat ….. for breakfast, I watch ….. at the weekend,  I go on holiday …… times a year, I like to…. and I socialise with…. You get the jist. This is what your subconscious has known for quite a while and is pretty happy to continue with this. After all, we all like a sense of routine or structure as it makes us feel safe and brings us comfort.

So it makes sense then that when you want or try to make changes your subconscious puts the barriers up and wants to keep you ‘safe’. Really, in a highly childish way it spits its dummy out and says “just stick to the same thing, this is what we know and it’s been working fine till now”. Though on a conscious level you know this is not the case, your current situation is not ‘working fine’ otherwise why would you want the change to happen?

Your subconscious mind needs to think with the conscious (the one making the new choices).

A good way to think of this is in relation to a child. If a child is told that their bedtime routine is now changing from 8:30pm to 7:30pm what usually happens? The child kicks, screams and shouts “Ive always gone to bed at 8:30, why? why? why?” amongst the tears, screams, verbal attacks etc… Though with persistence the parent continues to stick to the new routine each evening, a new pattern is formed and eventually the tears and tantrums lessen and 7:30pm becomes the norm.

This is what will happen at the start of your decision to make the change.

To keep motivated

Think of the other option. Yes, just stay where you are. How does that make you feel? Unhappy? unfulfilled? Always thinking what if? As Dr Wayne Dyer once said;

“Don’t die with the music still in you”

Im sure due to your life experiences already or ones you may have witnessed of others you will know by now that this this life really is too short to be unhappy. You do have a choice and you need to take responsibility for your happiness. You can sit waiting and hoping for change or you can make it happen.

Keep the end goal in sight. What your life will look like when you have made the change.  

Think of or write down all the reasons for wanting this change to happen; the benefits to you and to others, what you will gain emotionally, physically, spiritually….

Not everyone will be supportive of your new change

That’s ok it is not their journey. This is your life. However what I will say here is have a think about your significant people (your nearest and dearest). Not in a sense of I can’t make this change as …… won’t like it. Never give anyone that much control over your life. I am meaning ‘how will your change affect others?’ Going on a trip around the world may seem a fantastic idea to you, though what impact would this have on your family, friends work, finances etc.….? and if you do want to suddenly reform your body and image to boost your confidence that’s great. Though remember others have known you to look and act a certain way for a long time so discuss this change with them first. Not for their validation, but to prepare them so that they can support you on your journey. They need to adjust too.

Do it!

Make the decision and start to plan. Already you will feel your energy and focus rise as you have empowered yourself and taken charge of your life.

When?

Now! What can you do today which will instigate the change?

Or sit and wait another year where you are, waiting for a better time. Maybe when the finances are right, when you are out of this current job, situation or relationship…… As I have said, there will always be excuses and there will never be a perfect time.

This is your life! Nobody is going to live it for you and yes YOU DO deserve to be happy.

If you are struggling, want to ‘make that change’ but still need some help/guidance, I have an array of tools and techniques to help you. I offer coaching sessions in person, via Skype or by phone call.

Please see my website to book your slot or complete the contact form at the bottom of my pages and arrange a FREE 15 minute chat.

Much love

Amanda ‘The positive realist’

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